CHILDHOOD AND TEEN YEARS

The other day I was at the city watching a circus. Yes, a circus for a big kid like me is kind of cool. It is random and it is free.

There are bunch of small kids there and they surely do enjoy the whole performance and thoughts suddenly just come one by one.

When we are small, we are easily satisfied with small stuff or little thing. It took one circus or one small lollipop and you are happy with life. As we progress further in life, it takes much more than that to make us happy and satisfied.

Meridith: There comes a point in your life when you're officially an adult. Suddenly, you're old enough to vote, drink, and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly, people expect you to be responsible, serious... a grown up. We get taller, we get older. But do we ever really grow up?

My mother hates circus for sure. Those playground stuff and fun-fair is a big no no for her as well. They are dirty and messy to her with all those mud in the parking area and basically the whole environment.

So, I don't get to go to circus a lot even when I was small. I remembered one of the very few and could be my first circus (unless my mind is playing trick with me), my father was carrying me on his hands, prove that I was very small that time and its rains that day after the show. The other time, it was in Penang with my auntie's and her kids. I swear my mum complaining about the mud after one of the show and the one in Penang was probably my last circus until that day in the city.

But, as I grew older, I went to lots and lots of fun-fairs with friends.

Looking back my life as a small kid, I think I have little to no childhood. I only attended my first classmate's birthday party when I was 10 and I didn't expect my mum to actually agree to my request. I don't think I ever had a birthday party when I was small where I could invite my friends; decorate the hall with small balloons and receiving countless gifts from friends.


Today, my friend picked me up for steamboat and one of them was talking about freedom and getting home late and stuff like that. As they started the conversation before I got in the car, I wasn't really sure what it is about.

I did add the following to their conversation.

" Eighteen and a half and you are rebellious already." <-- jokingly of course.

Indeed I enjoyed much freedom when I was 17. No doubt about that. I was rebellious when I turned into 16. Looking back my life as a teenager, freedom is no stranger to me and I still wonder how my STRICT mother actually did let me hang out in cyber cafes for 4-5 days every week that time. Either I was too rebellious and my mother could control me no more or she is making it up to me after being strict with me when I was small or both.