No more?
Why?
...... No particular reason?
Why?
I gave up.
No way.
Why not? I think she is not into me.
How could you let go a piece of meat that is already in your mouth. (refer lion analogy - here.)
......
It was your best game by far and you gave up.
......
There are so many questions which I do not have the answers. I cut the chase. This is our secret.
It is weird, it is so bizarre and odd. I could never solve the puzzle. The mixed signals you gave me was driving me nuts, the indications of interest and indications of disinterest were crazy. The A to Z guide about women is missing, and the signals are way off my social calibration; I was confused.
First you infatuate then you get the other party to feel the same for you or one could simply reverse those two simple steps. I certainly felt something for you but I just could not seem to flip the right switch on your side. I failed.
I have no reference point for your emotions, this is different, your first time, something new even for me. You have a high threshold, not having a crush on anyone, at least that is what you told me. You surely are a tough case and I did not get to play my all my cards in my deck. Not all things work on you, I realized. It was a challenge, you set the pace and you hooked me; I was playing your game, your set, at your mercy. I tried to read your mind, again I failed miserably.
Maybe you enjoyed the chase and pursuit (Chase: Everything You Need To Know About Men, Dating And Sex - Samantha Brett) but I had to stop. I was kissing your ass, I was being needy, I was falling deeper, I was drowning, and I just know I have to stop. It might be your token of resistance, I led the interaction but we are going nowhere, things are not happening. I might have shown too much interest too soon. Things are not pretty and it is a sign to stop.
You have seen the best of me at that time, I just have to let go. I tried and I was at a bottleneck; maybe we met at the wrong time, maybe it is a false alarm from my side. I have to stop before my emotions start pour out like there is no tomorrow, I just need to stop. Things have to cool down. I have to regain my sanity.
I pushed my boundaries for you, I did a little more each time but I do not see the difference. Is there really light at the end of the tunnel? I have no one to turn to, the is no creator for this puzzle. I struggled before I crashed and burned in the end, not a pretty sight.
I do not think I will get to the bottom of this but I am willing to let it past. In fact, I did. I am backward rationalizing this now because I need to learn from my mistake. We are all driven by emotions, feelings over reasoning, heart over head. Impulsive and whim is all I had at that time.
I do not believe in people meant to be together will be together in the end. On what criteria one can be considered meant to be together then? I should have taken the first sign serious, I did not, I thought I had a shot, obviously I do not. I was stupid.
I hate the feeling of affection. It makes me weak, fragile and vulnerable. I hate you.
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