chicks hitting on me, errr.... us

It was at a beach outing few months ago; we waited for the sunset and then the bus.

She approached us with one of her friend at the bus stop. Asian girl, long hair, a scarf worn around her neck, it was a chilly 7pm.

“Are you waiting for the bus?” and “Are you guys Malaysian?” She asked. She was leading the three of us into a conversation while her friend took on another of my friend alone.

Then the killer mistakes came, just when she mentioned her name, the traffic was noisy, no one heard her name. The whole scene repeated itself when she mentioned about the course she is taking.

After some polite chitchat, she asked for our opinion on God SUDDENLY. She started to lose us and she failed in getting any of our numbers.


She used question openers to initiate the interaction. She even looked for similarity before approaching us so she could continue to plow with us. A girl with courage and planning, it was a beautiful start.

Getting your name through to the other parties are important especially when you making advances on random strangers, confidently introduces yourself, a warm handshake and a fond smile. A good first impression is quite important as well as a name for others to address you. That was her first mistake.

She used opinion openers when she wanted to transit into the subject of God, a not so wise move. I heard the word Goth the first time she asked, my brain was telling me how weird she was behaving, one of my friends immediately went into his shell as he is a strong believer of another religion, and another one loses interest as he is non believer. It was a fatal move. She devalued the rapport she built with the abrupt introduction of the subject God.

There are only three categories when it comes to the fairly sensitive topic of religion – believers, fence sitters, the non believers, and fence sitters should be their primary objective. The non religious person would not care and the believer of other religion would build a wall around them and totally cut off from the reality.

I would immediately convey my intention to invite them to caroling if I were her, straight to the point.

“Hey, you know what? I was thinking of inviting you guys to the caroling we are having…………..”

And then only I would start to work on the rapport, reassuring the strangers that I am not a religious person and just drop by, have fun, meet new people and make some friends. She is just being Asian, pai-seh la want to approach random people especially with a hidden purpose. If sooner or later you have to bring out the subject, be straight to the point, at least it would not give the person you are interacting with an impression that you approached them with a purpose.

She failed to get our numbers and thus has no mean of follow-up and chances of people turning up at her event are zero. Leave a strong impression and get your targets' numbers are important. Why you need a strong impression?

"Hey. It's me, you know, that [ordinary] girl you met at the bus stop the other day near the XYZ beach....., rang a bell yet?"
"Oh, yea yea I remember you."

is going to be awkward. I too have to learn my lesson.


My friend commented that she was friendly. Friendly with an intention is not (genuine) friendly, I corrected him. She made a few mistakes after the good head start she had, her frame was weakened. She had to actively maintain the interaction while I took on my observer position from there and analyzed every moves she made. I have seen the best of her, she went on and on about Malaysia, she ran out of topics. I did not intend to make up for her mistake, she initiated the whole interaction and I do not even know her name to begin with.

She should have known it is not easy to approach random strangers on the street.

so what happened to that girl?

No more?

Why?

...... No particular reason?

Why?

I gave up.

No way.

Why not? I think she is not into me.

How could you let go a piece of meat that is already in your mouth. (refer lion analogy - here.)

......

It was your best game by far and you gave up.

......

There are so many questions which I do not have the answers. I cut the chase. This is our secret.

It is weird, it is so bizarre and odd. I could never solve the puzzle. The mixed signals you gave me was driving me nuts, the indications of interest and indications of disinterest were crazy. The A to Z guide about women is missing, and the signals are way off my social calibration; I was confused.

First you infatuate then you get the other party to feel the same for you or one could simply reverse those two simple steps. I certainly felt something for you but I just could not seem to flip the right switch on your side. I failed.

I have no reference point for your emotions, this is different, your first time, something new even for me. You have a high threshold, not having a crush on anyone, at least that is what you told me. You surely are a tough case and I did not get to play my all my cards in my deck. Not all things work on you, I realized. It was a challenge, you set the pace and you hooked me; I was playing your game, your set, at your mercy. I tried to read your mind, again I failed miserably.

Maybe you enjoyed the chase and pursuit (Chase: Everything You Need To Know About Men, Dating And Sex - Samantha Brett) but I had to stop. I was kissing your ass, I was being needy, I was falling deeper, I was drowning, and I just know I have to stop. It might be your token of resistance, I led the interaction but we are going nowhere, things are not happening. I might have shown too much interest too soon. Things are not pretty and it is a sign to stop.

You have seen the best of me at that time, I just have to let go. I tried and I was at a bottleneck; maybe we met at the wrong time, maybe it is a false alarm from my side. I have to stop before my emotions start pour out like there is no tomorrow, I just need to stop. Things have to cool down. I have to regain my sanity.

I pushed my boundaries for you, I did a little more each time but I do not see the difference. Is there really light at the end of the tunnel? I have no one to turn to, the is no creator for this puzzle. I struggled before I crashed and burned in the end, not a pretty sight.

I do not think I will get to the bottom of this but I am willing to let it past. In fact, I did. I am backward rationalizing this now because I need to learn from my mistake. We are all driven by emotions, feelings over reasoning, heart over head. Impulsive and whim is all I had at that time.

I do not believe in people meant to be together will be together in the end. On what criteria one can be considered meant to be together then? I should have taken the first sign serious, I did not, I thought I had a shot, obviously I do not. I was stupid.


I hate the feeling of affection. It makes me weak, fragile and vulnerable. I hate you.

THE MANS' RULES (E-MAIL)

The Men's Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Those in green are added personally by myself. Click read more to read full post.


1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE ) <--- I love this, even if I do, I pretend that I don't.


1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. <--- This is great as well.


Crying is blackmail.


Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just tell us what you want!


Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us. <--- How could I possibly tell the truth in front of you?


If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one


You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
because we don't disturb you
while you are watching your soaps and serials. <--- Miss Garly, now you know...


If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will ! act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. !


You have enough clothes.


You have too many shoes. <--- Author forgets about handbags.


I am in shape. ! Round IS a shape!


Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that ? It's like camping.


PRASHANTH.VILLANISED