teleport would be useful here

Both of them are exchange students. She is from Japan while his Canadian. We were waiting for cab when someone mentioned about her being in a relationship with him, finally. The girls are fairly excited about the whole event and they chipped away.

I beg to differ; the first thought in my mind is that the relationship will come to an end one day. Imagine you are in a relationship with someone across the globe, how would that be considered a relationship instead of intense emotional torture? This is not a fairy tale, happy endings are for the exceptions and we are the rule.

None of them asked for my two cents of course, and I have learned that if you have nothing nice to say about a relationship, just keep your mouth tight and shut; if you are asked, you are obliged to say only positive comments. Obviously no one would need my pragmatic view; a side of me Jacys claimed girls would hate me for and I agree.

According to her, he is going to try to get into exchange programme, only this time to Japan. I have no idea how long the e-mails, phone calls, chatting or skpe-ing are going to fuel their relationship but eventually do they not require the real presence of the other half, their soul mate standing in front of them?

All the lonely nights and they are left with only memories, sweet past memories instead of cuddling and be in each others’ arms. All the intimate acts of their friends would only remind of their unfortunate, not so? And admiring the same moon under the same sky at a different place is not romantic, because they are struck with it. Who would admit their grapes are actually sour?

The more sacrifices one made in a relationship, the harder it is to move on. One of them will fall for someone else sooner or later, and what about the other previous destined half? Long distance relationship requires more commitment, dedication and effort than usual; ultimately one of them would reach the point of burned out.

It does not hurt to be realistic sometimes. The chemicals in their brain are going to wear-off one day, a matter of time, and so what then? Who could they turn to?

Related posts

Long Distance Relationship

My thoughts

the Belle de Jour effect

The lesson seems to be that given any opportunity to have sex, a man will take it. I will leave it to the biologists to decide whether this is because of evolutionary strategy, or because of the way boys are raised. What I do know is that the oldest profession is not likely to go away regardless of what the law says.

- Belle de Jour

It is fascinating to note that the eastern and western community has a completely different view when it comes to S.E.X. Teenagers in the west are racing to lose their virginity but the eastern community, particularly the conservative Chinese is still quite particular about virginity. Marriages broken just because the bride is not a virgin the night of wedding is still happening in certain area, such is a totally conflicting phenomena happening around us.

One of my high school teachers make known to us that boys behaved the way they are, because they are not the one having to bear with the consequences, namely defloration and pregnancy. They get away after unleashed their load of genetic materials but there is significantly higher risk for the females, the girl has to deal with the aftermath.

The other teacher was telling the girls mati-mati jangan kasi, never to give “it” away. He added that the girl should slap the guy with her slippers if he ever made such request, and that guy would just dump you after he get it. We were 17-ish those days; boys are regarded as hamsap creatures. Those are few of the good old wise mantras.

However, there will some couples in a sexually active state, even during those days. We could sort of tell because they are not afraid of displaying their extensive intimacy in public. Unless you are from a strong religious background, it does not shock me anymore to know that you are sexually active now, even if you are an Asian. Asians have libido too, they have their right to have satisfying sex(s). My bottom line is that you play safe, why risk getting some of those nasty STDs.

During my early days of being here at Land of Kangaroos, my mother never failed to repeatedly reminds me not to make any girls pregnant. It has nothing to do with my upbringing but she was young once too. She knew, thus the gentle nudge. A sermon on the need for abstinence is probably not going to do much. I do have a feeling they would preach the importance of self- control, no pun intended if I was born a girl.

My parents, however never gave me the TALK, the thought of it is enough to send shivers up my spine. On the other extreme, my friend’s father even gave him advice on withdrawal technique. My friend is my age and that was few years ago. I do believe Asian parents are still quite conservative when it comes to the topic; they are uneasy and uncomfortable about it too.

Ching Ying, TAO, a Taiwanese show host, singer, writer and radio host released her book titled “I love therefore I am” (我愛故我在) last year and in her book, she wrote “Must have sex before marriage.” – a direct translation. She added that sex should be respected, but it should not be treated as inviolable taboo as it is the innate nature of how things should be. She said so not to encourage promiscuity, but to overthrow the unfair expectation of society on women that they must be still a virgin until the wedding night.

In many ways, I agree with her.

if i could just hate you

Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. With love, there is no hate; without love, there comes hate. They complement, made complete and perfect each other. Love becomes hatred when love is nowhere to be found, the love-hate relationship.

Relationships do not end well most of the time. One would try to mend the broken heart but when all means fail, the attempts, efforts and sacrifices made only act to fuel the hatred. Words are suddenly being hurled around; names are being called; and feelings are still being exchanged, only this time it is hatred.

Both eventually went on their separate ways; feeling disgusted with their old self for falling in love with the one once considered their soul mate, their destiny. They vow not to cross path again, everything has comes to an end and put to rest. All communication ceases.

Everything we did, every action, behavior, thoughts and feelings has to have a meaning attached to it, a reason, or an explanation. No one wants to be a fool. We lied to ourselves if we must, so that we could drown in another emotion if we have to.

Hatred makes it easier; hatred reduces the pain and makes the pain a little more bearable. Hatred is a justification for the intense emotion we once felt, love could be so vivid and striking that we need a stronger, an emotion of higher intensity to bury the old affection. We just want and desire to forget.

It is easier to remember than to forget; it is easier to cling on than to let go; just like it is easier to blame others than to look in ourselves. Feelings will fade once we decided to loosen our grips; time will heal almost every damn wound. It will heal despite leaving a scar.

There will be a time when you do not even remember the trigger for the unfortunate cascade of events that follows. That is the funny bit, we forgot what we were fighting for in the first place; we just lost ourselves in the midst of battle where we just too busy defending ourselves. Hurting others is better than being hurt.

Old wounds from the past hit us in the balls, the very part hurts the most when you least expect it.

When there is no hatred, is there any love in the past? Promises were left as promises, never to be accomplished.

she smelled some fishes and crabs

I opened my inbox and I have the following in my mailbox.

Dear XXXX,

Can you please confirm the two foreign language titles attached (recommended through the Suggest an Item web form) will support your research and learning at XXX University Library?

Thank you.

Maybe I pushed the limit this time or maybe she just wanted some clarifications? One of the books is about self help and the other touches on boy-girl relationships (BGR) and the different perceptions Martians and Venusians have about relationships. .

I replied although I had the initial thought of not to.

If the library has books on seductions and man-woman relationships, surely my books are acceptable, right? It is not relevant to my studies but but but [ insert whatever excuses here].

MY THOUGHTS

Long story short, a boy shared two things just now.


“According to b**le, it is a blessing to her and her family when we are together.”
“I knew it was a blessing for me when we broke up.”


I kept quiet although I disagree. The very first thought in my mind, “How could he think that he is on the losing side?”.

Relationship is not a business or a transaction and certainly his relationship is not some ill-fated or fail-to-profit business.

I believe both people should be held responsible for any break up that happened. Just like what the famous Chinese proverb said, “You can’t clap using just one hand”.

That reminds me to what miss E said to me one night
“Please do not hate her”
We were talking about past relationships.
I was like “Huh?”
still trying to understand the-out-of-a-sudden-words she said at that time.
I guess she is just being herself, a girl’s perspective.

Another time, miss E asked me
“How long does it take for a boy to forget the girl?”
I replied “Two months?”
She looked at me with a little disappointment in her face “So quick?”
I continued “I think two months is still a little too long.”


Well, EASIER SAID THAN DONE. There wouldn’t be a correct answer to her Q. Whole world seems to collapse and breakups are tough. Most of the time, let bygones be bygones.

Time will heal the wound. Eventually you will forgive. Life still goes on.

I do realize that when someone is in love, they tend to blog about all the sweet and touching things about love. When time is tough, they blog about all the difficulties and obstacles along the journey and when they end a relationship, they blog about they would rather remain single and never involved in a relationship. The honey and poison.

That is life.

End.